You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
