i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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