Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
