Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
this will be a night to untag.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
