Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
