3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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