Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
