What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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