Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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