Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
you never un-have a 4some
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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