the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize