We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
