My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
