he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
