Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
