Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
