I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
