He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
