I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i drank out of a bidet.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
