i permit you to call me
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
