did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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