I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Hippo gnu deer
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
