how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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