...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
