He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
