For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
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She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
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