i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
