Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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