I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
