she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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