We're facebook friends in real life
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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