it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize