Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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