so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
