So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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