dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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