I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
