how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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