Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
no you cant smoke seaweed
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
