Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
