no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
