Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize