I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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