becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
