i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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