Dual....:-)
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
