dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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