New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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