You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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