So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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