that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
