Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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