Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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