can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
