Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
