how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
this will be a night to untag.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
