So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
