You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
