you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
