yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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