does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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