I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
