Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize