Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I lost the right to judge tonight
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
